Soul Circle Gratitude Journal

discovering a new artist through a MySpace link loop…Regina Spektor is fabulous

technological advancements that allow for instant gratification at 6:00 am on a Saturday morning…hey I have to flow when inspiration hits — I’ll go back to sleep for an hour or two shortly

inspirations that the universe lays on your path reminding you that your walking your path just fine

my mind — for always overflowing with ideas when stimulated

my vivid dream cycles — it’s rare that I don’t dream vividly whenever I sleep and most of the time I remember the details, even when I’m having what I like to call movie marathon night (several different story scapes in one night…I usually wake up exhausted to no end); what’s funny is I’ve never thought of this as anything bad, it’s always been that way since I can remember; I make dream log entries just like I would writing in my journal — the last extensive one took an hour and a half and 10 pages to note all of the imagery

Pastor Winley, again — this position at the church is growing to be so much fun! I stopped by on my way home today. Pantera was working and the three of us sat in that office cacklin’ like old friends. She, the Pastor, has such a refreshingly laid back vibe…and her sense of humor is going to make me pee my pants one day. I pitched an idea to have an Inspirational Open Mic on Friday evenings to her (just running by an idea that popped in my head the other day) and she’s open to it. Plus I’m negotiating a rehearsal deal for a new singer friend who’s put together an Alumni choir. I haven’t even officially started yet.

the music direction position that is coming my way under grace and in perfect ways — the budget meeting with the church elders is on Monday, 4/2…this is when they’ll determine what funds they have for me and give some directives for the position

the Brooklyn Arts Council — I’ve recently become an artist listed on directory website. I’ve been writing for years that I’d be interested in adding a gig as a teaching artist to my creative resume…I jotted down on my list of possibilities then low and behold the council is hosting a seminar on April 30th on how to develop teaching artist opportunities through the Brooklyn Public Library. I must note a couple of important go-incidences about this workshop…it’s on the FIRST week day of my new job as a full-time musician…it begins at 4:00 — a time that I normally would not be able to attend due to job conflicts…it’s through the public library – an organization that I’ve volunteered extensively for and hoped to form an alliance with as an artist. YIPPEEEEE!

BC/EFA — I’ve had the great honor to work with the ladies at the Broadway Cares/Equity Fights Aids as house seat contacts. Janie has especially become a friend and is a joy to correspond with…she one of those folks that makes the job easy. I hadn’t received any requests from her for a while so I dropped an email the other day just to say howdy, check in and let her know that I was leaving at the end of April (I also wanted to get information on volunteering for the organization because I’m so inspired by what they do). I sent the email right before lunch. When I got back, there were 3 phone messages from Janie. When I called her back she thanked me for the email and said that tickets to The Color Purple had fallen into her lap … and asked if I’d be interested in going. Tears swelled in my eyes right there. On Thursday night I got to see The Color Purple with a show stopping cast. I tell ya this year has renewed my passion for Musical Theater in a way that was long gone. The next day when I sent her thanks I got the information about volunteering for them (which I hope to do once or twice a month)…and she said tickets fall into the laps of volunteers all the time.

bliss abounds ladies! Have a stupendous weekend!

I am grateful for/that…..

I am grateful for/that…..Painting my living room and all of the wonderful living room furniture that I have

I can not find the words to express how grateful I am that we (Karrie, Danielle, Dawn and Rhonda) are doing this. Although I don’t get to come everyday…when I do, I’m energized by you all. Not to mention reading how inspired you are by loving me the way you do (thanks to all of you creative mavens).

I had a ball last night at music talks sessions (Dawn I’m so glad that you were inspired, I was hoping it would do for you what it’s been doing for me). There’s nothing like being around that know your struggle from the inside out. Those who choose to share openly their experiences so that you might grow from their mistakes or choose other routes to make and grow from your own. Those who you connect with in a way that makes impossible dreams seem as easy as breathing simply because you allow yourself to be vulnerable and ask if they might help with the how. Those who are on a similar place on the path creatively that you can join forces with — who genuinely want to see you succeed because they trust ultimately that everyone will succeed no matter who breaks out first.

Music…our love affair gets more intimate everyday in ways that I never imagined. She fuels me, soothes me, excites me, and stirs my soul beyond my understanding. And shes showing even more that she knows how to provide a multitude of ways to support me in the human experience. Who could ask for anything better!

Nia, my car, for getting me from and to point A, B, C, D and anywhere else the road of life takes me. Even when she’s dirty, she carries me just the same. We’re going home next week and we’ll groove all the way down the road!

Nice folks I’ve met through my administrative work in the arts (…hell I’m GRATEFUL that I’ve been blessed to work in the arts, around the arts, and through the arts for the last 15 years). I am grateful that one of my house seat contacts from an agency offered to take me to lunch while he’s in town visiting. Who knows where just being me in the job that I’m currently doing may lead.

My co-worker, Stacy, who does empowerment retreats and visualization workshops for women…and is willing to do a retreat for us for $50 and a bucket of homemade fried chicken. Anybody really good at frying chicken or am I gonna have to learn how to with a recipe from an old friend.

My boss and friend, Kenneth, for always making work more fun with his stories and commentary…I’ll miss it when I leave here but I’ll visit ’cause I’ll be working just across the street.

Perfect timing…the Universe gives in abundance in perfect ways and in perfect time with the life that unfolds. Just look at the weather today — glorious!

 The development of Blissful Wishes as the “how” of sharing uplifting inspirations in pretty handmade boxes becomes clearer and simply seems to fall out of the sky on a daily basis.

Blissful day!

Finding the ability to amuse myself under any circumstance is an amazing gift. There are so many things in the world that titulate me…like the title phrase (Even though I wasn’t a big Ren and Stimpy fan, I certainly loved their theme song…much like Sponge Bob’s).

Making steps towards conquering my fears has been a grounding experience, especially in the past few weeks. I feel a lot more driven, though my confidence fluctuates. But I’m determined to meet my goals. There’s so much to do and at times its overwhelming, but its exciting.

-D

I am greatful for/that..

i am able to step away from work today and have a total me day

the complimentary full body massage that I have recieved under grace in perfect ways

every last drop of money that comes to me effortlessly to fulfill my every desire and need under grace in perfect ways

Divas that i know like Karrie, Rhonda and Danielle that are creating a life that they desire on their own terms, utilizing their talents and abilities

my apartment, the beautiful weather that is upon us..the verranzano bridge, dunkin donuts coffee…..

the music talk session that i went to last night and being surrounded by people who are making a living from their music and all of the possibility that opens up for me

supportive, kind and kick in the butt emails from the fantastic women who make up this grat list community

new beginnings-faith in the future-choices

pictures of my cousins little boy….and how cool it is to see how much this little one looks like him

my cousin shannon who ALWAYS keeps it real for me…and knocks me back into place!!!

Mr. Delicious who has no idea how his ambition inspires me and encourages me to be and do more

The pier in my hood that looks right out onto the NYC skyline…

My co-worker amanda…..

today is a brand new day…..

love to you ladies,

dawn

Today, I am grateful for…

The unknown.  The hardest thing I’ve ever done is walk outside and not know exactly where I’m going.  But that’s exactly the sort of surrender I need to experience right now.

Water.  I always find some reason to drink something else, usually with sugar.  But when I finally get around to  drinking it…it’s like a lightbulb goes off.  This is what my body wanted all along.

Seeing what I bring to the table.   When I started my jewelry business, this time last year, I struggled to find my “niche”.  Where do my designs and my aesthetic fit in, in this sea of designers, all with their own points of view?  Over a year, I had to learn several things; that even though I find something pretty, it’s not necessarily my style; that trends come and go…it’s my interpretation of them that will set me apart; that I don’t exactly wear what I like to make, and vice versa.  Over the weekend, I saw many different designers and designer styles and I just knew, without even thinking, what was my style and what wasn’t.  I am seeing how this cultivation of my jewelry niche, also lends itself to my own identity…where my being fits in the world.  Like a bead, I can find a person attractive, but not my style; trends in thinking come and go, but it’s my interpretation of them that will set me apart; and I can admire something or someone without bringing that thing into my life, if it doesn’t fit.  I am learning what fits for me, and where I fit.  And where I don’t fit, I am creating a big ole space for me to squeeze into!

Health.  Today I have to take care of myself to ward off Wayne’s cold.  And it feels kind of wonderful to be that aware of my own fragility.  I am grateful to be reminded that I am not made of steel.

This awesome photography gig.  I am so, so grateful for this opportunity to travel, to see the South, to meet new people, to use my talents everyday, to have those talents respected so completely.   I have always heard artists say that they insist on being paid for their art, not because they need the money, but because it is a validation of their work.  I finally understand what they mean.

Little epiphanies that change my whole mind set.  “I am a big woman…size 18/20!  I could be healthier.  I could even lose weight.  But none of those things means I’m unworthy of giving or receiving love, or being respected, acknowledged and accepted.  I have lived with that programming for so long…I am not living with it anymore.  It’s a lie anyway.   Being big doesn’t mean I have to hang my head.  I’m frakking awesome!  Why would I hide me from the world?

Contradictions I live with everyday.  They make me…me.  “I want to be liked by everyone.”  “I wish everybody would leave me alone!”

Wink!

Beautiful day, darlin’s!

Despite the delays and overcrowding, its wonderful to have a subway system. Imagine NYC without it…frightening.

I’m grateful for:

deep breaths and long exhalations

warmth that radiates from the human body

the sense of touch and smell

my vision, though it may be hazy at times, it still does the job

Faith…the fact that there are people who place theirs in me

Cool

I am grateful for/that..

Today, I am grateful so for…

Sunday afternoons in the city. Meeting a good friend and gushing over every kind of bead imaginable. Planning her wedding jewelry. Feeling that rush that is distinctly Manhattan. Great, bone crushing hugs when we part ways.

Burgers and root beer. Wanting nothing but a burger and a root beer and turning the corner to find…the perfect burger joint.

Hot pink jade. Oh, honey hush! These gorgeous briolettes I purchased yesterday…I try to only buy beads I have a visceral reaction to. These babies make me feel excited, happy and sexy all at once. Has a color ever made you swoon?

My digestive system. We are all just one big tube. And that tube works without me even having to think about it. This body is a beautiful, amazing thing!

Pajama weekends. Me, my pajamas and a whole lot of pillows. Perfection.

Artistic gigs. I have worked so hard, all my life, at jobs I never cared for, but I still wanted to do the best job possible. And when I wasn’t appreciated for that work, I became so hurt, because it was so much more of a sacrifice for me, to give my all to a job that had nothing to do with my art, but paid my bills. Now, this job running a gorgeous jewelry shop just fell into my lap just when I needed it. And these two photography gigs just came to me, just when I needed it. I am realizing that I can be paid for my jewelry designing, my dramatic writing, my photography…all of it. People will pay me for who I really am.

Maury. I love both of my cats, but little Maury came along and breathed life into us at a time when life was leaving us, all around us. She helped Ever, who was just a shell of herself after living with my ex-roommate’s cats for a year (who I recently found out had never lived indoors a day in their lives), to become playful and happy and trusting again. She’s just such a joy and I am so grateful to be her mommy.

Rhonda. Thank you for giving me the gift of the Secret on 4 whole DVD’s! Your act of kindness is changing my life, everyday.

Sharing the Secret. Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to re-connect with my oldest friend. I was always the Pollyanna to her Scrooge, and that was one of the reasons we fell out of touch…I got tired of being her cheerleader. I realized she had to be optimistic and enjoy life for herself…I couldn’t do it for her. Well, how amazing is it to re-connect with her discuss The Secret and feel her embrace it and even understand it, after years of opening her mind and turning her life around? I am so grateful to all the media outlets – subtle and not – who have given me the oppoetunity to learn this. Thank you.